Welcome, soiled traveller, to my luxurious retreat; I am Aphrodite, goddess of luuuurrrrve, and whilst you are here, put your feet up and relax as my cherubs attend to your every need.
Are you ready for your luuuurrrrve connection? If you fancy a bit of what you see below, please mail me with your details and who you would like to connect with, and I will pass your message down to the eager mortals who are at this very moment clustered at the foot of Mount Olympus waiting for me to bring luuuurrrrve into their lives.
And remember, luuuurrrrve and passion will always be in fashion....
Colin, 19 but soon to be 20, is one geezer that wanna get jiggy wit all da ladies in da house! Me will pleaze ya in anyway, and ´naughty´ requests are accepted.
Chris aka Lobster, 20, unotouchably personable, with good looks, charm, and modesty to match, seeks a nice homely gal with great cooking skills and breasts.
Melanie, 25, a 5'6" blonde with brown eyes into clubbing, fantasy books and Playstation, seeks a lad aged 20+ who is also into clubbing, has a good sense of humour, good dress sense, and is capable of talking rubbish after a good night out.
Scott, 26, fit, intelligent and good looking, seeks a slim girl of 25-35 for some lettuce eating and other no-strings fun.
Footie mad lad Stuart, 24, seeks lass to increase his scoring stats. Although post-match bath is not compulsary, a full rub down of those aching muscles must be administered so I can keep up my high performance levels. The only thing I ask of my trainer is that she's a non-smoker and doesn't support Manchester United.
Nel, 23, seeks top totty. Wearer of tiny or no clothes. Must be able to hold bizarre and useless conversations. Must like answering polls etc. Should have her own money and be willing to spend it. Having own transport would also be an advantage.
Bunny Queen, 21, seeks bloke for rabbit-like behaviour. Looks are not really an issue, but no long furry ears or pink eyes please. Conversational skills a plus, open-mindedness a must.
Andrea Panda, 20, an amazon goddess - that's all that really needs to be said - seeks anyone with a schlong.
Chris, 24, 6'4", long blonde hair, likes being called Norris. I belong to several Viking clubs: this is where I spend my spare time when I'm not at work as a City high flier. My favourite music is by Leftfield and Rod Stewart. I drive an Austin Morris Traveller and like people who laugh at their own burps.
Steve, 24, seeks girl. Wearers of short tops preferred, but must have a good sense of humour, be very open-minded and be prepared to take an interest in Luton Town Football Club. Bad sense of smell an advantage.
Neil, 23, seeks lass with eyes nicer than Linda Lusadi's. Must like Mike Reid and Roy Chubby Brown, but be unfamiliar with their material. Must like flowers, candlelit dinners and poems with all rhymes and stuff.
I wanna make a luuuurrrrve connection!